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Browse 6,000+ Jokes
100 Best Jokes
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An angry carrot

BRIAN: What do you call an angry carrot?
HANK: I don’t know.
BRIAN: A steamed vegetable.

Joke by Brian S., Livonia, Michigan
0 comments

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Leprechaun dog is Irish Setter

Comic by Van Scott
0 comments
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Why the baseball player called time out

Brandon: Why did the baseball player call time out?
Sean: Why?
Brandon: He needed a shortstop.
Joke by Brandon G., Bremerton, Washington
0 comments
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Greeks aren’t morning people

Grant: Why aren’t Greeks morning people?
Tommy: Why?
Grant: Because dawn is tough on Greece.
Joke by Grant D., Odenton, Maryland
0 comments
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The grandma slept in the refrigerator

SARAH: Why did the grandma sleep in the refrigerator?
QUAN: Why?
SARAH: Because she wanted to be a cool grandma.
Joke by Sarah B. , Naperville, Illinois
0 comments
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Hulk is a leprechaun

Comic by Scott Nickel
0 comments
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A bike without a bell

MICAH: What award does a bike without a bell get?
AARON: I’m not sure.
MICAH: The no-bell prize.
Joke by Micah R., Port Townsend, Washington
0 comments
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An elf wearing earmuffs

ADVIK: What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
MAX: What?
ADVIK: It doesn’t matter because he can’t hear you.
Joke by Advik P., Brentwood, California
0 comments
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Don’t spell part backwards

Quest: Don’t spell “part” backward.
Sean: Why
Quest: Because it’s a trap.
Joke by Quest R., Lincoln, California
1 comments
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Swimming with King Kong

Comic by Scott Nickel
0 comments
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What a horse and a bride have in common

Bentley: What do a horse and a bride have in common?
Chris: No idea.
Bentley: They both need a groom.
Joke by Bentley P., Springfield, Ohio
1 comments
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A great joke about construction

JEREMY: I’ve got a great joke about construction.
FAITH: Let’s hear it.
JEREMY: I’m still working on it.
Joke by Jeremy B., Lynchburg, Ohio
0 comments
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Crawling into class

Teacher: Why are you crawling into class, Patrick?
Patrick: Because you said, “Don’t dare walk into my class late!”
Joke by Patrick O., New Freedom, Pennsylvania
0 comments
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Snowman growth spurt

Comic by Scott Nickel
0 comments
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The pie had a hard time on the test

AIDAN: Why did the pie have such a hard time on the test?
SEAN: Why?
AIDAN: Because it wasn’t a piece of cake.
Joke by Sean S., Miami Lakes, Florida
0 comments
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“Don’t play with dynamite”

TOM SWIFTY: “Don’t play with dynamite!” Tom exploded.
Joke by Ayn A., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
0 comments
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What one penguin said to the other

PAUL: What did one penguin say to the other?
ALICE: I’m stumped.
PAUL: “Ice to meet you.”
Joke by Paul D., Torrance, California
0 comments
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Taunting tennis ball

Comic by Nathan Cooper
0 comments
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What runners eat before they race

Jackson: What do runners eat before they race?
Sammy: Tell me.
Jackson: Nothing. They fast.
Joke by Jackson M. , Phoenix, Arizona
0 comments
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Cheese that isn’t yours

Zachary: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Victoria: No idea.
Zachary: Nacho cheese.
Joke by Zachary H., Forest Lake, Minnesota
0 comments
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How Darth Vader likes his toast

Harper: How does Darth Vader like his toast?
Finley: No idea.
Harper: On the dark side.
Joke by Harper O., West Fargo, North Dakota
0 comments
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Dress sensibly for February

Comic by Scott Nickel
0 comments
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Never buying Velcro again

BAILEY: I am never buying Velcro again.
BLAKE: Why not?
BAILEY: Because it’s a rip-off.
Joke by Bailey W., East Freedom, Pennsylvania
0 comments
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Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snow

Allison: Knock, knock.
Cassidy: Who’s there?
Allison: Snow.
Cassidy: Snow, who?
Allison: It’s snow use. This door will never open.
Joke by Allison J., Little Rock, Arkansas
0 comments
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Which fly is a football player?

PEE WEE: If there are five flies in the kitchen, which one is the football player?
WESTY: I don’t know.
PEE WEE: The one in the sugar bowl.
Joke by Luis V., Belleview, Florida
0 comments
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I stream everything

Comic by Bob Vojtko
0 comments
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The lazy man wanted a job in the bakery

JIM: Why did the lazy man want a job in the bakery?
HENRY: Why?
JIM: He wanted to loaf around.
Joke by Josh D., Schnecksville, Pennsylvania
0 comments
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An artificial snow machine

DEXTER: What does an artificial snow machine make?
TUCKER: Tell me.
DEXTER: Snow fakes!
Joke by Nathan H., Austin, Texas
0 comments
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What one elevator said to the other

CHRISTIAN: What did one elevator say to the other?
CHRISTINE: What?
CHRISTIAN: “I think I’m coming down with something!”
Joke by Christian K., Visalia, California
0 comments
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Grown-ups don’t like snow days

Comic by Van Scott
1 comments
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You have to do something quickly, Doctor

PATIENT: Doctor, I’m shrinking! You have to do something about it quickly!
DOCTOR: Take it easy. You’ll just have to be a little patient.
Joke by Michael J., West Simsbury, Connecticut
0 comments
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How to find out the time while camping in the backyard

TWO SCOUTS CAMPING in their backyard wanted to know the time, so they started singing at the top of their lungs. Then one of their neighbors threw open his window and yelled, “Cut the noise! Don’t you know it’s 3 o’clock in the morning?”
Joke by Michael B., Varysburg, New York
1 comments
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The patient laughed after his operation

JOE: Why did the patient laugh after his operation?
MOE: I don’t know. Why?
JOE: Because the doctor had him in stitches.
Joke by Stephen C., Salem, Virginia
0 comments
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